Wednesday, 6 June 2007

Going off-topic

Hi fans,

Now, this is a Blog written by a man. An Englishman. Though I rarely, if ever, update this thing, it's here.

Anyway, I think that it's my duty as an Englishman to be Sensible, and let Common sense prevail. With this in mind, I'd like to present a rebuttal to the so-called "Rape list":

1. "You are a rapist if you get a girl drunk and have sex with her."

Difficult to call. I'd lean more toward sad. If she won't look at you twice sober, Getting her drunk is just sad.

2. "You are a rapist if you find a drunk girl and have sex with her."

Again, I'd say sad, instead of rapist. If she won't look at you twice sober, why bother when her senses are impaired by Alcohol?

3. "You are a rapist if you get yourself drunk and have sex with her. Your drunkeness is no excuse. "

Now this is unclear. I'm gonna take it that she was drunk first, in which case, why bother?

4. "If you are BOTH drunk you may still be a rapist."

Now this is thoroughly unfair. If neither of you would look at each other twice sober, it'll just cause friction on the morning after to get drunk and "go wild".

Amendment 1: Do not use Alcohol to get sex. It's sad, and you'll suffer "problems". You may want to go with your body's feelings, but nobody can give informed consent to anything when they're 3 sheets to the wind, so to speak.

5. "If she's alternating between puking her guts out and passing out in the bed then you're a rapist."

No argument here.

6. "If she's sleeping and you have sex with her you're a rapist."

Sounds sensible enough. Without her Knowledge is without her consent. Also, what an abuse of trust! Better to wake her p in the morning with a kiss (on the nose, or forehead)

7. "If she's unconscious and you have sex with her then you're a rapist."

See above.

8. "If she's taking sleeping pills and doesn’t wake up when you have sex with her then you’re a rapist."

9. "If she is incapacitated in any way and unable to say 'Yes' then you're a rapist.

"9a." By "Say yes", I take it the author means "give informed consent, or even consent in any way, shape or form". Which legitimises this

10. If you drug her then you're a rapist.

Well, so far, so good. 10 situations in which it's wrong to take advantage of incapacitated or impaired women. Let's move on.

11. "If you find a drugged girl and have sex with her then you're a rapist."

Again, sensible enough. Don't take advantage.

12. "If you don't bother to ask her permission and she says neither 'Yes' or 'No' then you could be a rapist."

What about if she asks you for sex? This idea is Never explored in this diatribe. (meaning there are very few situations where you could just put it in without asking that haven't already been described)

13. "You are a rapist if you 'nag' her for sex. Because you manage to ply an eventual 'yes' from a weary victim doesn't mean it's not rape. You are a rapist."

Coercion. Are you so desperate for it that you'll say "can we do it now???" to her every hour when she's not putting out?

14. "You are a rapist if you try to circumvent her "No" by talking her into it. She's not playing hard to get, and, even if she IS it's not YOUR responsibility to 'get' her. You're still a rapist."

If she wants it, she'll tell you. Simple enough.

15. "You are a rapist if you manipulate her into sex when she doesn't otherwise want it. If you say, "If you loved me you’d do X" then you're a rapist. If you say, "All the other kids are doing it!" then you're a rapist."

Yes she loves you, but she won't give up her dignity, or some women just have some hang-ups, and some "Sexual" stuff is just plain freaky, sick or not healthy/hygenic/safe. as to point B, that everybody else is doing it, If everybody else was Jumping from the tops of skyscrapers, would you? Don't follow the herd, man.

16. "If you threaten her, or act in a way that SHE thinks you're threatening her then you're a rapist. If you puff up and get loud and frustrated while trying to 'talk' her into sex then you're a rapist."

Now this is more the classic definition. "You better put out or I'll bust your face!" is not, and NEVER WILL BE accpetable. That is when you are using her as a sex slave. And that ain't right.

17. "You are a rapist if you don't immediately get your hands off of her when she says 'no'. You are a rapist if you take your hands off of her and then put them back ON her after 10 minutes and she eventually 'gives in' to this tactic."

If she says no before you put it in, Don't put it in! Don't just try again, let it slide. She'll come around if she wants it. If not, nevermind.

18. "You are a rapist if you won't let her sleep peacefully without waking her every 15 minutes asking her for sex. Sleep depravation is a form of torture and YOU are a rapist."

Let her sleep, maybe you'll get some in the morning.

19. "If you're necking with her and you're naked and you've already gone down on her and she says 'No' to sex with you and you have sex with her anyway then you're a rapist."

If she's not ready, or if your sausage looks like it'll schnitzel her SeeyounextTuesday, you gotta respect that. That said, if she comes back 15 minutes later with Lube and says, "Okay, I'm ready now", get in there!

20. If you're engaged in intercourse and she says 'No' at ANY point and you don't immediately stop then you're a rapist.

This is the big one. It's as Big in Feminism as "Man shall not lie with man" in Extremist Christianity. If she says no, Barely milliseconds from the "money shot", and leaves you with "Blue balls", I'd call that torture. Worse, I'd call that assault. You're not a rapist because she gave you blue balls, she's an assaulter, a thug for doing that to you! If she says no ten strokes in, that's nowhere near as bad, but it ain't great. This point right here is free licence for women to manipulate men and watch them squirm for their own amusement! Not Cool.

So, only the one big point of contention here. But it's the Number one point of contention for the whole Argument. When do you withdraw consent? When it's too late, a split-second before getting a hot load of manjuice inside of you? Ten strokes in? Discuss. But for now, let's see the next 10.

21. "If she said "Yes" to sex with a condom and that condom breaks and you proceed anyway then you're a rapist."

False Pretenses. Just change the condom.

22. "If she picked you up at a bar looking for sex and then decides that she doesn't WANT sex and you continue then you're a rapist."

If she picked you up, and then has an attack of conscience, or remembers an early meeting, or spots your hairy bod and changes her mind, well that's too bad. But what is this "If you continue"? if you're at her place, it's just good manners to GTFO and chalk it up to experience. (oh and shave your hairy bod you FREAK!)

23. "If she changes her mind at ANY point for ANY reason and you don't immediately back off or you try to talk her into it and get sex anyway then you're a rapist."

Again, at ANY point? when you're going down on her, she's halfway to heaven and gets guilty, sure, stop cold. Ten strokes in (figuratively speaking for the Premature guys), not a perfect situation, but if she decides ten strokes is enough to say you love her, then go no further. But after the "Point of no return"? Assault, plain and simple.

24. "If you don't hit her and she says 'No' you're still a rapist."

25. "If you don't have a knife or a gun or a garrote and she says 'No' then you're still a rapist.

26. "If you're a friend of hers you can still be a rapist."

I'm gonna take these 3 at once. You don't need to be armed, violent or a stranger to be a rapist. However, these points are already discussed elsewhere. If she says "no", she means it. It's not rocket science.

27. "If you had sex with her the night before but she doesn't want morning sex and you pressure her for it anyway then you're a rapist."

Further to this point, you're greedy. You got yours, just be grateful of the bed for the night and leave her some parting words and a good impression. Better yet, make breakfast for her, she might decide to keep you around.

28. If you're her husband you can still be a rapist.

Rape within Marriage. Not touching that one tho...

29. "If it's your wedding night and she doesn't WANT to have sex with you and you force or coerce her anyway then you're a rapist."

I'd go with the Troy McClure line, but this is supposed to be serious. It's probably a myth that you have to consummate within a certain time limit, so if (hell of a sign for things to come if it does happen, but anyway) she says no, Just don't.

Amendment 2: If she doesn't want sex with you on your wedding night, or at anytime after, your Marriage is unconsummated and you can get an annullment and she don't get a penny!

30. "If she's had sex with you a hundred of times before but doesn't want to on the 101st time then you're a rapist."

Again, already stated. No means No. Not Yes, Not Maybe, but No.

So, this section did repeat itself a little, but the basic point is laid out. Onward!

31. "If you penetrate her anally, orally or digitally against her will then YOU my friend, are ALSO a rapist."

Key here is "against her will". Which is a no-brainer. If she loves you, or if she really wants you to do it, she'll say Yes to it.

32. "Women do not owe you sex."

Sad but true. A woman is Myriad things, not just the sex-toy of men. A woman is a beautiful, mysterious thing, a life apart from you, a life which can be whatever she wills it to be. So don't be a D*ck, Don't try and dominate.

33. "Buying her dinner does not entitle you to sex."

It does entitle you to that steak you've been promising yourself though. ;)

34. "Paying her mortgage does not entitle you to sex."

She should thank you for it though, A simply spoken "Thanks" would be enough for me.

35. "Buying her clothing does not entitle you to sex."

True enough. That's what her girlfriends are for, going out and finding nice clothes and stuff.

36. "Buying her lingerie does not entitle you to sex. It also doesn't mean that she has any obligation to wear that lingerie around you."

Hmm, Difficult to call. If she asks you to buy her underwear/lingerie, it might imply she's planning to wear it. As an unexpected gift, however, Flowers/chocolate are more traditional/romantic.

37. "Spending any amount of money on her does not, ever, entitle you to sex."

No arguments here. However, would you spend large amounts of money on anyone, male or female, if you didn't have them to give? If I had a Trillion in the bank, all of my friends and relatives would get expensive gifts. But I'm rambling. Onward!

38. "Seeing her legs or cleavage does not entitle you to sex."

Control yourself you ANIMAL!

39. "If she 'turns you on' you're not entitled to sex."

Go have a filthy dream instead.

40. "If she has fucked every man in a 10 square mile radius and she doesn't want to fuck you and you have sex with her anyway, then you're a rapist."

If she's had everyone in town but you, she's a slut. But you've gotta wonder, what is it about you that even sluts won't touch you? Shave that Hairy bod!

So, in this section we've learned that Men don't have the right to dominate and control women, and vice versa. Further to this, Sex is a 2-person job. If you're foaming at the mouth for release, just masturbate once in a while. Next 10.

41. "Her clothing is not a reason for you to rape her. Her LACK of clothing is no reason to rape her. If she's wearing a thong and pasties you STILL have no right to rape her."

Yeah, but she's not completely blameless for that. You've no right to rape her, but if she's wearing that when you get home and she says, "I want you so bad", it Ain't rape. (if she consents, it ain't rape)

42. "If she's a prostitute and she says "No" then you're a rapist."

No Freebies rule. You can't just ambush people and demand it.

43. If she's a stripper and she says "No" then you're a rapist. Likewise, if she's a stripper and she's been rubbing against your dick all night long and you follow her to her car and have sex with her against her will then you are ALSO a rapist.

Personally, I don't go to strip clubs, why would I want to have my passions enflamed and then come home without release? Makes no sense and just sounds masochistic to me.

44. If you watch a woman being raped without calling the authorities then you're as bad as a rapist and you may also be a rapist yourself.

No arguments. As a witness to a crime, you MUST come forward. Hey, Crimestoppers don't even ask for your name.

45. If you don't fight rape then you accept rape.

There are more important things to the general populace than the ruination of a strange woman's life by an anonymous Penis. Better to fight the heinous crime of sexual assault by wearing an internal deterrent.

46. "If you don't believe a woman when she says she was raped then you're encouraging rape."

Now here's a big one. This is licence to accuse, to malign, to ruin an otherwise good name because anyone who Cries rape HAS TO BE BELIEVED. THIS IS NOT SO! It's a shame that anyone gets raped, but it's irresponsible to give Women Carte Blanche to just call anyone rapist on a whim. (Because a woman can be myriad things, and not all of them good)

47. "If you choose to remain friends with a man who raped a woman you are encouraging rape."

With such a Broad definition of rape as defined in this document, this statement is foolish.

48. "If you confess to the authorities that you raped a woman it does not exonerate you. You are not suddenly a model of good behavior."

And back to sensible.

49. "If you ‘only’ raped one woman, you’re STILL a rapist."

True enough. If you only stole the Crown Jewels once, you're still a thief. If you only ever robbed one bank, you're still a Bank Robber.

50. "You cannot tell who is a rapist by the way they look. Rapists are your friends, your brothers, your fathers and you won't know it."

This is alarmist. Sure, you don't know who a rapist is, and who a rapist isn't, but that shouldn't concern you, for the chances are much more in favour of you never having to worry about it at all.

So, what have we learned from this section? Women can dress how they wish and shouldn't be bothered by perverts, Rape is a crime, and Radical feminism is paranoid about being Violated. I think the truth is that these Radical feminists shouldn't be afraid, there is more to men than their Appendages, there are a few men out there with half a brain that actually do get that "No means NO". Anyway, one last thing on this list...

51. Do not get frustrated with a woman if she doesn't trust you. SHE already knows that rapists don't wear signs on their foreheads. Something you think is innocuous SHE may find terrifying.

Paranoid much? If she doesn't trust you, don't put the moves on her. but if she's got rape issues to her eyeballs, Probably best to avoid her, as she'll likely never trust you anyway.

Personally, I think No Means No would have covered it. And maybe, if you're so desperate for sex, just go and Masturbate.

All this makes my head hurt. Comments!

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